#04 "Where Have You Ben"

Ben stood in the kitchen, remembering all the times over the years he had spent here on the island, in this cabin, and in this very kitchen. He watched as Walt walked by, who looked a little stressed out. Ben then remembered all the pain he had caused him. He started to follow Walt, only to be stopped by Hurley in the hallway.
“Ben dude, you may not wanna do that right now. It’s like, not the right time, man,” Hurley tried to explain, “He had some kind of nightmare, and I’m not sure what it was about.”
Ben looked Hurley dead in the eyes but didn’t respond in words. He turned back toward the kitchen from where he came. He walked to the window and stared out to the jungle beyond the yard. “Redemption” he scoffed to himself.

2007

Ben sat on the beach looking out at the ocean. The sun was setting creating a wonderful tapestry of colors amongst the clouds. Deep in thought, Ben stared as he picked up small twigs lying in the sand and threw them toward the water.
“Dude...” Hurley said as he walked up from behind him. Ben offered no response as he sulked like a child who couldn’t get his way, "Dude, I don't know why you are being like this," Hurley started, "You are just like Darth Vader." Ben turned and looked, not understanding the metaphor. "You know, Star Wars, like you were all evil and stuff … then you turned good."
"What does that make you?" Ben asked.
Not expecting the question, Hurley responded, "I guess that would make me the Emperor."
Ben scoffed, "Well then, it's a good thing I never saw that movie."
“C’mon man. I need your help. I don’t know what I’m doing. My head is still spinning,” Hurley pleaded.
“I’m not sure I’m the right man for this,” Ben explained as he looked toward the ocean again, “I have hurt so many people, Hugo… too many. I…”
“Well yeah,” Hurley interrupted as he sat down next to Ben, “I know. You lied to just about everyone… like all the time.”
“It’s not just pain I caused … I killed people, Hugo.” Ben started, “The result of all of the manipulation and webs of lies led to the death of all the people I cared about in my life. My daughter, my father, and I even helped wipe out an entire village of people that you were a part of in the 70’s. I didn’t just hurt people I cared about … I also hurt people that you cared about.”
“You mean Locke and…”
“Jacob,” Ben answered still staring out to the ocean, “How can I be your number two man if I killed the last man in charge?”
“You were duped, dude. We all were,” Hurley tried to reason, “Nobody knew that the monster took Locke’s form. He manipulated all of us and you fell into his hand like everyone else. Lucky for me, I was shacking up with very intelligent hippies in the 70’s for most of it. If you want forgiveness, dude,” Hurley placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder and smiled, “I think what you have to do is find a way to forgive yourself first. You know what you did was bad, but at the time, you thought it was for the greater good. Now take responsibility for your actions, change your ways and forgiveness will come eventually. Repent! …as my mother used to say.”
Ben replied in astonishment that those words came from Hurley’s mouth, “I have been like that for as long as I can remember… and the crazy part of it all is that when I was committing each of those actions, I felt no shame, no remorse, and no regret … until now.”
“You’ve got a long road ahead of you, Ben dude,” Hurley settled back also looking outward to the sea, “Good news is, we can help each other … and it seems that we have plenty of time.”
Ben stood to his feet.
“Where are you going?” Hurley asked.
“You are better at this than you realize, Hugo,” Ben responded as he started to walk away, “I have work to do.”

1992

Ben took a deep breath. He stood in the cabin’s kitchen and watched as his father, Roger, passed him by. His father was wearing his DHARMA jumpsuit and looked unhappy like he always had. Again, no words were exchanged, only the awkward stillness that has been now interpreted as bitter hatred. ‘This has to end’ Ben thought to himself. Not understanding what exactly he meant by that thought, Ben decided to go outside for a walk.
“Where are you going?” Roger asked contemptuously, “Why aren’t you dressed in your uniform?”
“What do you care,” Ben responded, just as contemptuous and kept walking out the door. He headed for the forest that led to the sonic security fence. Roger ran outside after him.
“Benjamin, what do you think you’re doing?? Get back here now! You have work to do!”
“Yes I do,” Ben said to himself in response and continued walking.

Ben walked to the sonic fence control box, flipped open the panel, and quickly turned it off. As the electrical hum from the fence ceased, Ben walked into the jungle and started to shout, “Where are you? I need to see you. I need to talk to you!” There was no reply. The skies were bright blue as they usually were, and could barely be seen through the treetops. “Hello!?”
“Benjamin?”
“Richard…” Ben sighed in relief, “I need to talk to Charles.”
Richard looked frustrated and responded, “It doesn’t work that way, Ben. You know that. We come to you. You don’t ...”
“There has been a change in plans. We can’t wait any longer. It has to happen now,” Ben pleaded.
“What do you mean?” Richard asked, intrigued.
“There is something big going on at the headquarters in Ann Arbor and it’s going to happen soon,” Ben explained, “Talk to Charles then. You tell him that they know about The Temple and they plan to exploit it.”
Richard, very alarmed by this news, did not hesitate to respond, “Alright, let’s go talk to Charles.”
Ben gave a satisfied yet sinister smirk, “Thank you, Richard. Yes, let’s go talk to Charles. He will be most grateful for this information.”

2007

Ben walked toward the jungle and could hear Hurley say, “Ok then, I guess I will meet you back at the cabin?” but Ben did not respond and disappeared into the darkened tropical forest. He walked like a man on a mission, determined. He cleared brush out of the way as he hiked his way to the Oceanic cemetery, where not too long ago he dug his own grave. Now that grave had been freshly filled. Ben grabbed the makeshift shovel that he used to dig the grave and headed back into the jungle.

Night had fallen and only the moonlight illuminated the path in front. Ben, having walked for a while, took a moment to rest and gather his senses. He looked around to ensure he was going in the correct direction, and pressed onward. After a few moments of clearing the branches away, he walked out into a small clearing to reveal the pit containing the bones and remains of the Dharma Initiative. Ben remembered the day the bodies were dragged here. He remembered shooting John Locke and leaving him for dead here. The bodies could barely be seen from the light of night yet, with a remorsefully pain stricken look, Ben stared at them. An eternity seemed to have passed as he relived those moments in memory. Without a solitary sound, Ben hunched over with the shovel in his hands and dug into the ground. He tossed the loosened dirt onto the bodies in the pit and noticed Hurley standing in the woods on the other side holding a torch. Frozen in shock that Hurley was there he said, “They deserve a proper burial,” and started to shovel more dirt into the pit, “but this is something I need to do on my own.”
Hurley walked over to Ben and responded, “Nobody said you have to walk this path alone, dude.” He handed Ben some water and started to shovel with him.

Present Day

Ben jumped, as he was startled out of his daydream state when he heard yelling coming from outside the front of the cabin. He walked curiously to the front door to see what was causing such a commotion. When he opened the door, an unsettling smirk came about his face.

To Be Continued...